Sunday, June 27, 2010

Problems and Smiles

So I'm a horrible insomniac, and it's almost two in the morning and at this point I'm giving up on trying to fall asleep. If I'm gonna fall asleep tonight, it'll come when it comes.

My stomach hurts so bad right now, and I can't even take anything for it. Midol used to work, even though it's not menstual related as far as we know, but now my body's gotten used to it and it doesn't work anymore. I usually don't take meds at all. I absolutely refuse to take anything but vitamins ever since a certain conversation with a certain person that I'd rather not blog about at the moment, unless the pain gets really unbearable or they're prescribed and my mom forces me. I just don't like meds. But Moxi gave me Midol a couple of times (and I snuck one once when she was distracted), and I was, like, wow, these work! So my mom bought me some and I would take it everyday and it worked for about a week and now it doesn't. And it sucks.
One good thing about all this is that I talked to Bryar for a little bit tonight on Facebook. That's the part of the smiles part of the title. Bryar, if you were curious enough to click the link I will send you in the future for me and past for you, thanks so much for talking with me.

So I have this friend that I was talking to earlier but am not going to mention so as not to embarrass this person who I shall hereby dub "Jason" because this person reminds me of a fictional Jason. So.
Jason worries me a lot. Whenever I talk to him, he's depressed or angry. But I was talking to him earlier, and I asked him how he was doing, and he responded with "good." That's the second part of the "Smiles," or the first part, really, because it came first. I can't remember the last time Jason said he was okay, let alone good. It made me happy that he was happy. We kept talking and he alluded that not all was okay, but he was still in a better mood than he's been in a while. He even told me that things may be looking up for him, which is absolutely wonderful. So, my lovely friend Jason, know that I am still rooting for you and still here for you. And at all hours, apparently. And please, Jason, do not attack me for still being up.

My mom's spending the weekend in Trenton so she can get away from my stepdad before she kills him. This is the first time that she's been away overnight with us and Leonard still home since my youngest sister was born. I don't know what to do with myself. Normally I'd go downstairs at this point to curl up on the couch and watch tv with her, but she's not home so I can't do that. And she won't be there to talk to when I'm making my breakfast tomorrow morning. I mean, I realize it's only one night, but I am really attached to my mom. This is killing me. And I'm scared for tomorrow, because tomorrow will be about eight hours where I have to be downstairs with him and no Mom, and that's never a good thing. See, my stepdad's verbally abusive, so if I mess up... I'm toast. And I've been feeling down lately and I mess up a lot when I'm upset…

Anyways, I'll probably post more later today. When the sun's out. For now, though, I have to post this before my iPod dies and i lose this whole thing. So, signing off!

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