Tuesday, December 14, 2010


So I got to thinking today, about how this is a blog about a writer, but I haven't really blogged about my writing yet, except for that one dragon tears story. So here's the beginning of a story I planned out and haven't actually written yet except for this.

Life has a funny way of changing in ways you'd never expect. Like, everything's going fine, you're happy with the hand you've been dealt, and then you glance down at your cards and realize you were looking at them wrong: you have a totally different set than you'd originally thought. Sometimes it's a better hand, and sometimes it's not.

It was the first day of freshman year, and already things were not going as planned. My best friend, Delilah Richardson, had not shown up. This could mean one of three things: she was sick, she forgot, or, most likely, she talked her dad out of making her go. Kitty (her nickname, as she hated her real name) and I have been best friends since first grade. She's loud, bossy, controlling, and the best friend you'll ever meet. She's insanely funny and insanely crazy. We were like two parts of the same person, and we desparately needed each other.

Lunchtime rolled around, and I was cursing Kitty. We had both choiced into the school, her for the band and me for the academics program, and I didn't really know anybody there but her. I bought my lunch and spotted a table with only one other kid at it. He had his head buried in his arms and seemed to be sleeping, so I figured it was safe to sit there. I pulled out a chair across the table and a down a bit from him and sat down.

"What part of 'leave me alone' didn't you get?" he asked without lifting his head.

"I'm- I'm sorry?" I stammered.

He sat up and looked at me. "Oh. I thought you were someone else."

"Guess I should be glad I'm not, then," I remarked.

He smiled. "Definitely. So who are you?"

"Colbie Landon. You?"


"Just Nikolas?"

"Yeah. I don't think last names are important. You're a freshman, right?"


"Well, welcome to Olathe High. Finding everything alright?"


"Are you going to eat your lunch?"

"Oh. Yeah." I picked up my fork and stabbed a ravioli. "You're not going to buy lunch?"

He shook his head, but didn't offer any more information.

I studied him as I chewed. Normally I'd feel bad for staring at him, but he was staring right back, seeming to be doing the same thing I was. He had shaggy dark hair and eyes so blue they were startling. I felt like he was familiar, like I should know who he was, but I didn't. Maybe we'd gone to elementary school together. He had on a leather jacket with a black t-shirt underneath. He had a scar on his left cheek, starting in the corner of his eye and going down to his nostril. He had another on his neck. His hands, balled into fists and resting on the table, were also adorned.

"Clumsy kid?"

He followed my gaze and shrugged. "Something like that." He put his head back down, a sure sign of the end of our conversation.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Bryar :D (and some more good news)

You know, the one I've talked to every day now for about a month. And it's funny, it took a mental breakdown on my part before things got back to normal. Maybe it showed him I still need him, I don't know. But no matter what, it's all back to normal. We're talking on facebook or texting at least once a day. I saw him about a month ago (which was when I had my breakdown). We were doing stuff at a park. Then we went to Cici's and then back to Dave's house. He stuck by my side after the breakdown. And at Dave's, he kept doing stuff he used to last year to make me smile, and since then, it's been normal. Better, even. We'll be talking on facebook, and the conversation will die off a little, and we'll not say anything for a little bit, and then one of us will say something like "moo, I'm a sheep" and the conversation will pick up again. "Hey, isn't this easy?" ("and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town..."). Or I'll be in one of my moods where I'm restless and can think of anything to say, and he'll pick up on it right away and tell me ("you're bored" "you need sugar" "you're acting different tonight"). I feel like if we were Na'vi, he'd be saying "I see you." It feels good to have someone who knows me so well. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So now to more good news. Today marks exactly one year since I last attempted suicide. So I was in a weird mood all day. Sad and reminiscent and grateful. So much good has happened since :)

Signing off, feeling okay

Friday, October 1, 2010

Hodge Podge of Miscellaneous Information

Today, we had off from school because of torrential rain and flooding and whatnot. It was weird, never happened before. 

So, as to why I've been gone. I made a couple of friends over the summer. I don't really want to get into details, so, long story short, they both committed suicide. I'm... coping best I can. I've become closer to my friend Adam because of it, so I guess there's a silver lining to this cloud.

So. I was on Facebook today. And. I got a message from Bryar. We only talked for a few minutes. He sent me this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUCZlzj_B88 I watched it, and got confused. Because so many lines in the song can relate to us. Like "Just three seconds ago, I said something I should never say." The last time we had a real conversation before today, it ended when I told him he could always talk to me, and he responded with "Thanks, but I've got my people for that." And it really hurt. But later he texted me with "Don't touch me there." Then we had this long-butt conversation that lasted two and a half hours about stupid stuff with some heavier stuff mixed in. I never told him how much what he said hurt me, but I did let him know how much I missed the way it was last year. We traded inside jokes "are you calling me... normal?" "Do you need a toy?" (oh, if only you knew the stories behind these...), and he made fun of me as only Bryar can (and is allowed :P). And it felt nice. We're not where we used to be, but I actually think we might be friends again. 

I'm spending the night at my ex-stepdad's house for the first time tonight. I really should get up and close the window. He actually doesn't live in a house, it's a condo. And the people around here have decided the best thing to do at midnight is to scream and screech tires and omigosh they won't stop!

So, more good news... IT'S ALMOST NOVEMBER!!! I am sooooooo excited for NaNoWriMo to start. Like, beyond excited. Words cannot describe it. And the forums are all shiny and new and it's just... ahhhhh

I bought a fedora. Because I'm cool like that.

I have to pee.

No, I have not had sugar today. I spent the whole day with Moxi.

Signing off,

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Missing Him Tonight

I had a hard time freshman year. In fact, saying it was hard is probably an understatement. I felt safe with Bryar, like if I fell backwards he'd be there to catch me. And he was. He saved me from myself twice. I would not be here today if he hadn't been at the right place at the right time with the right words. He was someone I related to, someone I could look up to. During that year, he was the closest thing I had to a brother. There were some times when we weren't very close (spring break comes to mind), but for the most part, he was there. In that point in time, that was what I needed: his friendship.

There was a time where things were real good. He was someone to talk to. He made me laugh. I actually smiled around him. I remembered how to care. I told him everything. Even if I didn't want him to know, somehow I wound up telling him. If we were both on Facebook, we were probably talking. If he saw me in the hallways, he'd lightly punch me to say hi. He'd do things in class to make me happy, actually happy. Everything was okay when I was with him. He knew my moods and he said what I needed to hear when I was upset. It seemed like it'd go on forever. In the back of my mind, however, was the reminder that he was a senior. He would graduate at the end of the year.

Somewhere along the line I changed. I started caring more what others thought of me, especially when he and his girlfriend Jenn started having serious issues. I realized that while he'd be gone at the end of the year, Jenn and her friends would not. I got it in my head that I needed to distance myself from him before they broke up so that no one would think it was because of me. When it finally happened, I realized me distancing myself just didn't work, and that I was wasting my last few weeks with him.

I made the most of those weeks, and we kept in touch for the better part of the summer. Once school started, something changed. I got touchier, and he started ticking me off more. I also started pushing more when he let on that something was wrong, which only caused him to pull away. Now we barely talk. I think about him a lot. There are certain songs I won't listen to, certain places in the library I avoid at all costs. He was my best friend for quite a bit of time, and I lost him. But I'll heal. And maybe one day I'll get on Facebook and receive the instant message I miss: "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S YOU!"

Anyways, next post will be about why it's been, what, a month? since I last posted.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Newness and Smallness and Purple

I'm typing this sitting in my sister's closet in Leonard's new condo. I would be in my own closet, but the inspector is using it because it has the only portal to the attic. I definitely feel totally epic right now. I'm sitting in a closet, blasting David Bowie and eating Twizzlers. You can't get any better than that. See, I'm like the exact opposite of claustrophobic. I'm, like, a claustrofile. So I like closets.

My room, affectionately dubbed The Poop Room because of its color, is the smallest. About five eight-to-fives (each 22 1/2 inches long) each way. I'm gonna repaint it, probably a light purple, and I think I'll bring the old curtain from our house. I don't use it anymore because of the placement of my bed. I kept stepping on it and eventually broke the rod. The curtain's still fine. I might get a purple one instead. The Poop Room doesn't have a light fixture yet. I want one of those big purple lamps. I also want an air mattress instead of a real bed, and I want a little purple reading lamp next to it. I don't want or need a big dresser like at the house. I'll be here maybe every other weekend at the most. Depends. I might get a little dresser, or none at all. I'm not going to have anything on the floor of my closet. Everything'll be up on the shelves.

I'm having fun thinking about decorating The Poop Room. I decorated my room when I was eleven. I've changed a lot since then, and so have my tastes. I don't want the blue and clouds stuff anymore. I don't want the expensive furniture in the big room. I want the simple stuff in the small room. When we moved into our house, I picked my room because it was the biggest (and it was the only one facing the backyard, but whatever). I picked The Poop Room because it was the smallest. Also, it's not shaped like a rectangle. The closet is in the room, so it's got a little bit jutting out and it has an inverted angle or whatever they're called. It's kinda like a little hallway leading to my room. It's only a foot long, but it's enough so that if I sit in the corner away from the door, you have to take a couple steps into the room before you can see me. Funny how stuff like that makes me happy.

Signing off and thinking about "Things To Do in a Dark Closet,"

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Band Camp: Day Two

Screw band politics. Screw being nice. And you know what? Screw Jenn.

We claimed freshmen yesterday, and nobody wanted this girl named Sarah, so I took her. I wanted a freshman, I didn't care what she was like. I've been dreaming about this since band camp last year. I wanted to be to some little freshman what my upperclassmen friends were to me. I met Sarah, and I liked her. Jenn was stepping on my toes about her, but I was ignoring that. Until today.

We're supposed to have a pencil at every rehearsal. I had one in the morning, but it was in my denim shorts pocket and I changed to my other shorts at the last minute for the evening session (denim's not comfortable in ninety degree weather when you're marching), and I forgot to grab the pencil. We were writing on our charts (kind of like blueprints for where we need to be on the field) how to get from one spot to another. I was afraid to ask Mr. Wittman for one because of the fact that the social anxiety makes me terrified to call attention to myself like that. Jenn had already written everything on her own time, so I asked if I could borrow her pencil. She grudgingly let me have it. I mean, it's not like I let her share my pencil last year or anything. I set it down for a second so I could flip the chart over and she snatched it away. Sarah saw this, and offered me her pencil. Mr. Wittman saw Sarah without a pencil, and so he asked if she needed one. She said "No, I have one. We're sharing mine." And he gave me a pencil. Later, we were exiting the auditorium when Jenn passed me and said something like "Not my fault. I thought you were done."

This would've been something I could've let slide if it had stopped there, but it didn't. Later, Jenn and Sarah and the other sophomore, Meghan, were standing in a circle and talking about something and laughing. I couldn't hear all of it, but I caught enough bits and pieces to know they were talking about the pencils, and now Sarah's completely ignoring me. And Adam, my section leader, knows about my stomach issues and that they get worse when I get hot, and he would periodically turn around and fan me. Every. single. time. he did that, Jenn called him over because she "needed help." If I was a bolder person, I would have said "All you need is a punch in the mouth" or something to that effect. Of course, me being me, I didn't do that. I just kept quiet.

So half my section hates me so far. Whitney, the other freshman, is likely to go over to the dark side soon, because she and Sarah are really good friends. And I'm the one who brought cookies yesterday! All I'll have left is Adam and Maya. Of course, if I could choose which two would be on my side, it'd be those two because they're my section leaders :D

My Aunt Terri is telling me to kill them with kindness, but I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if it's even worth it. It won't work, that I know. I've been nothing but kind and helpful to Sarah the past two days, even after she stopped talking to me. It takes too much effort to be kind to Jenn. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't see the point of it. She's going to hate me no matter what, so why bother?

Signing off, pissed and devastated,


Monday, August 9, 2010

Band Camp: Day One

It's that time of year again, people. Time to dig out the lyres and dust off the instruments and make innuendos and crack inside jokes that must be explained to the freshmen. Time to sweat off ten pounds and march until your feet are sore and watch the saxophones wrestle and break in the new drum majors. That's right, band camp has started for the Yellowjacket Marching Band.

This year's show is called "Phantom of the Piano Studio." It's a bunch of well-known piano songs, many of which you hear when a piano is present and someone who really plays is not. Don't ask me names, because the only one I knew the name of was Fur Elise, and that's because that's my favorite piano song. The rest were stuff you hear in cartoons and commercials and stuff. And it's all jazzy and it's got random weird noises and it's amazing. Next time I'll post a link so you can listen to it if you want.

So today was, well, it was difficult. I got sick, I mean literally sick, during the morning session. And it really really sucked because TODAY OF ALL DAYS, Bryar decided to come visit band camp and I didn't notice him until I was running for the toilet. And we didn't really get to talk because of stupid band politics.

Band politics means that I cannot piss off a girl like Jenn, who is Bryar's ex. It was a hard breakup, and I got dragged into the middle of it. ("You're leaving me for her, aren't you?") Okay. Yes, I had a huge crush on Bryar at one point. Yes, Bryar and I are/were (complicated) really close. But come on, girl. Would he really leave you for me? Even if I would take him? Because, you know, I'm sooo much more beautiful and brighter and bubblier than you, and I can definitely see a guy like Bryar leaving you for me. But I have to stay on her good side from now on. I finally got back on it. But if she were to see us hugging or being the really good friends we are, she'd get pissed. And if Jenn gets pissed, not only does she hate me, but all her friends hate me too. I don't need half the band hating me. Plus, even worse, she and Bryar's so-called "friends" that she has wrapped around her finger will take it out on him.

But there were some times where today was good, and all because of Moxi. Today was my first time seeing her since the fourth of July. It was wonderful. We were watching the senior march-off, and the stomach pain got so bad I started crying. She said "What hurts?" in that soft voice she reserves for when I'm really upset. It kinda made me cry harder because 1) I've missed her so much, and 2) it reminded me of the other times she's used it to calm me down. And then there was the ride home from the night session.

We were giving her a ride home like we'll do most, if not all, nights this week when we noticed her dad's car in front of us. We both shouted "Follow that car!" Mom did, real closely and creeperly like we told her. Her dad made a different turn than he was supposed to in order to get to their house, and Moxi shouted "Speed up! Beat him to the house!" So Mom did. Her dad pulled around the corner reallllly slowly and drove past our car. While he was doing that, Mom opened the door on Moxi's side and she popped out. Her dad had been totally freaked. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard or felt like such a stalker. It was great.

So tomorrow (or later today, depending on how you look at it) is Day Two. I want to talk about how badly I feel about the fact that Moxi was horribly miserable, and what I did once I was home, but I gotta be up in five hours for more marching, so I'll save that for next time.

Signing off exhausted, but feeling okay,

Monday, August 2, 2010



My mom and stepdad are getting a divorce, and my mom's cousin and her eleven year old daughter Hannah are moving in, but first we're doing a trial period. And I like Hannah. I really do. She's sweet, and kinda fun. But she's starting to get on my nerves.

I barely get any time to myself. Like, at all. She's always there. And if she's not, she's texting me. Including right now. And on Sunday, I told her I was talking on the phone with my dad, and she kept texting me "where r u?" "wat r u doin?" "r u done yet?" I NEVER should have shown her that texting app for the iPod. I'm on total social overload! I can't be around people twenty-four/seven! It's just not who I am. I'm not anti-social or anything, but even when I have friends over, I need to take little breaks every now and then.

Second off, there are these seemingly little things that kind of tick me off. I mean, yeah, they're stupid stuff, but they're driving me nuts. My inner Grammar Nazi is going crazy, for one. And she took a shower earlier... Left her hair in the drain, left the bath mat down so it can mold, stood on the rug while drying off (this I know because it's been hanging up for an hour and a half and STILL wet), left the shower curtain open so that can mold, too... She even almost sat in my seat in the car. That is a big no no. Everybody in the family knows that you do NOT sit in my seat unless I've got shotgun. I don't adjust well to changes like that. I sit in the middle row passenger side seat. Always. She tried to take it. I know this is irrational and what not, but remember, I'm not one-hundred percent sane. It's not my fault that these things drive me batty. She also tried to eat my poptarts. Okay, there are four different kind of poptarts in there, girl, and you picked from the only box I can eat (not even because of flavor, but because of my stomach problems)???

And I don't get the time with my mom like I used to. I'm really close to my mom, and I need my one-on-one time with her. I haven't had any since Saturday. Like, at all. It sucks, to say the least.

Now, with all that said, I want Hannah and Terri to move in. It's what's best for everybody. My mom needs financial help. Terri needs a place to live and someone to help discipline Hannah. Hannah's an only child who's really overweight and doesn't have a lot of friends, and she needs to go to the middle school I went to so at least she can have the amazing teachers I did. My sisters need somebody else to hang out with because I can't stand them 98% of the time because they're so much like their dad.

Signing off to tell Hannah yet again that I'm going to bed and she needs to STOP TEXTING ME,

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Dragon Tears

Dragon Tears

I recently purchased a bag of so-called "accent gems," just because of
the memories they brought back. They're these little round blue gems.
I've always called them dragons' tears. I found one once in my
friend's backyard, and her older sister told me that if someone finds
a dragon's tear, that meant there was a dragon who was admiring that
person from where they lived, and was crying because they couldn't be
together. She told me a story about the dragons, which I've been
thinking of a lot today and feel like sharing. This isn't quite the
story she told me, I've forgotten bits and pieces and so I'm
embellishing a little bit, but the main parts stay the same.

The dragons once lived among us humans. They would watch over the
children of the world like guardian angels and play with them. They
would help the women with their cooking and finding edible plants.
Then the men discovered how nice dragon flesh tasted. The women and
children pleaded with the men not to kil the dragons, but the hunters
would not be reasoned with. The dragons did not come out from hiding
very often, and so over time, people began believing that they were
merely a myth. Those who did still believe had become convinced by
their ancestors that dragons were horrible creatures to be slaughtered
and eaten. So the dragons left the earth to live in another realm.
Many of them were homesick, so the king of the dragons ordered his
spellcasters to create a pool that the dragons could look through to
watch over the humans. Sometimes, the male dragons, especially the
young ones, will see a girl that they admire, and often fall in love
with. When a dragon falls in love with a human, it's not like when
humans fall in love. Dragons fall in love selflessly. All they want is
for the human to be safe and happy. The dragon will become glued to
the pool like so many of our kind become glued to the tv screen and
begin to cry. Dragons do not cry as we do. Their tears are rarely
existent, and when they are, they become solid the second they drip
off of the dragon's scales. Sometimes, if a tear falls just right, it
slips through the pool and is found by the one whom the dragon admires.
The story was once told to a woman a long time ago. There was a
dragon who was so in love with this woman and such an adept
spellcaster that he was able to visit her in her dreams and he told
her the history of the dragons. He told her that if enough people knew
the true story, and not what the hunters passed along, that the king
might allow the dragons to once again roam the earth, and they could
be together. The woman spread the story, but unfortunately she died
before the dragons could be returned to earth. Still to this day, the
real history of the dragons is not well known enough for them to feel
safe returning. Those of us who believe try to pass this story along
as much as we can, in hopes that one day, at least our children's
children will play with the dragons again.

I believe. I found the dragon's tear from so long ago, and compared it
to the ones I bought. If I am not mistaken, they are made of
completely different substances. In fact, the old dragon's tear
doesn't seem to be made of the same substance as anything I have...
It's nice to think that there's a dragon in love with me.

Comment, tell me what you think.

Signing off,

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You

One, two, Freddy's coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your crucifix
Seven, eight, better stay up late
Nine, ten, never sleep again

Three guesses as to what I was just forced to watch. The only reason I
went along with it was because it had Johnny Depp in it. And I lost
interest when he died. It was an okay movie. Not horribly terrifying
as you watch it. Made me jump maybe three times. However, I may have
some trouble falling asleep tonight. Not that that's any different
from normal. And the nightmares won't be any different from normal
either. Maybe a little scarier...

Last night the nightmare was about this plane, and it was on fire, and
it crashlanded in the middle of the high school football field, and it
exploded, and somebody pulled me out of the way. I enjoy my dreams
with people I don't know in them... Gives me an idea for a story...

Say this girl (could be a guy, too, and all the genders could revrse,
but I think it'd be better if the MC was a girl) keeps having these
dreams every night. They're not her normal dreams. Before, her dreams
were things she would almost remember in the morning, but the harder
she tried, the more they slipped away. No, these dreams she can
remember every detail of in the morning, as clear as if they had
actually happened. And there's this person, this guy, who is in every
single one of these dreams. They start off as nightmares, but he
always saves her at the last second and it becomes a pleasant dream.
And maybe she starts falling in love with this guy. And her friend's
over one night and she has the dream and the nightmare part wakes her
friend up, and so she wakes the MC up. MC gets really mad because she
didn't get to see the guy, and she yells at her friend and tells her
to never wake her up when she's having a nightmare. And then they both
go back to sleep. Then, a couple weeks, months, years, whatever,
later, the friend's over again and the MC starts having a nightmare
and the friend gets woken up but she just sits there and the MC dies.
The end.

Okay, so maybe my mind's still on the movie.

Signing off,

Monday, July 26, 2010

Why We Don't Normally Give LeeLee Sugar

This is what one hour of my day was like today after I confused an
unhealthy amount of sugar.

Before it kicked in, I was sitting on the couch, watching tv and
cuddling with my Cheshire Cat stuffed animal (it smells like my dad
now, by the way. I doused it in his cologne). Then my mom asked me to
vacuum. And it kicked in.

I chased my cat around the house with said vacuum while singing
"Caramelldansen." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oTw_VdQ7kY&feature=youtube_gdata
Then I danced around the kitchen to "Caramelldansen."
Then I fired off a letter to Moxi where I included the lyrics to the
chorus of "Caramelldansen."
Then I confused my friend by texting her the lyrics to the chorus of
Then I told Jake I was evil because of thing #1 while still listening
to "Caramelldansen"

Do you see a theme here?

I love Japanese music. I really do. I love "Bad Apple" and I love
"Vegetable Juice" and I love "Rever's Edge" and I love the Japanese
version of Ellen McLain's "Still Alive" and of Avril Lavigne's
"Girlfriend." But "Caramelldansen" beats them all, hands down. And
combining that song with a sugar rush makes for a very fun afternoon.

Signing off almost calm,

Sunday, July 25, 2010


As promised...

We had a barbecue so my daddy could meet some of my friends. Actually,
it was so he could meet Jake without Jake being completely singled
out. So he wouldn't be too scared :D. It was a blast. My friends Dave,
David, Ally, Katie, Adam, Chelsea, and Jake, of course, RSVPed yes.
Gretchen RSVPed maybe, and then showed up.

We had an absolute blast. At first we hung out outside on the deck
while the food was cooking. Mainly it was Jake, Dana, David and I
talking, and the rest a little away from us, but plenty of crossover
conversation. Then we had food. I forced Jake to try my oyster
crackers (I bake them lathered in oil and dill powder and garlic and
something else I can't think of at the moment) and we had a good time.
After we finished eating, we kinda just sat at the table and talked. I
got up to do something and Katie took my chair. I came back out and
Jake kept offering me his chair which was really bugging me. Not that
I don't like the chivalry, but what people don't understand is that
most of the time I'd much rather sit on the floor. He knew it bugged
me, and he kept doing it. I don't mind when that happens. I don't mind
when people are irritating, actually kinda like it as long as they
don't go too far. I don't know why.

After that we had some people taking pictures and some cars backfiring
and some liquid sunshine (the boys were playing along with my denial
of the lightning and thunder and rain), so we went inside. We split up
between the tv room and the living room (which has a tv as well, but
we just got that recently). In the living room we played Wii (to which
David replied "But I don't have to go to the bathroom yet") and blared
music and played Othello and took random pictures and put the play
crown on Jake's head. I don't know what was going on in the tv room.

After everything outside calmed down, we went out and started a fire.
Well, David and Jake started a fire. The rest of us had swordfights
and played keepaway with the frisbee. Then we made smores. And then
people starting leaving. Jake helped me clean up.

I have to say, that was probably one of the best nights of my life. I
had a blast. I love my friends. And my friends and Jake got along so
well that he's having a barbecue/pool party on Friday and inviting
them all.

Signing off,

<3 7/7/10 <3

Tornadoes, Thunder, and Fire

Okay. I know I promised that the next post would be about the barbecue, but I lost internet on my iPod which is where I started it and I can’t get it back for a day or two and I don’t want to start all over so I’m going to write about something else and later you’ll get the barbecue.


I used to live in Kansas, which is smack dab in the middle of tornado alley. I love tornadoes. Call me crazy, call me insane, call me suicidal, but there’s just something exciting about the thought that at any minute, a piece of hay could pierce through a tree, or cows could go flying, or you could be taken to Oz… And the sky turns green, and “It’s a twister! It’s a twister!”


We had a tornado warning today here in Delaware and let me tell you, I got super excited. Unfortunately, said tornado didn’t happen. We did get an amazing thunder storm, however. One of those storms where the thunder is almost non-stop and it rattles the house so bad you’re afraid for the things on your breakables shelves. I lied/laid/whatever (if someone wants to comment and tell me which one is right, I’d appreciate it) in our living room with the lights off and listened to the thunder and Portismouth. It was an amazing experience. I recently discovered Portismouth. They’re a triphop band. If you don’t know what triphop is, it’s the music one would listen to while high. I have never been high, but apparently this kind of music puts you in the same kind of mood many illegal drugs do. Combining that music and the


Okay, I have to switch topics real quick. While I was writing this, the house down the street from mine got struck by lightning and caught on fire. We walked down and watched, and I stood with one of the kids I babysit and talked to him about it, like how everyone must have gotten out all right because they would have carried them out first and no ambulances had left, and how firemen wore protective suits like NASCAR drivers to keep them from getting burned and that’s why their suits are so heavy, and how the reason he was seeing water shooting out of the top of the house was because the firemen were shooting water from the first floor, and how it definitely wasn’t his friend’s house because his friend lived next door, and how yes, it was possible for his friend’s house to catch fire, but the fire’s out now so everything’s okay. It still smells like smoke in the neighborhood, but the fire is out. The fire trucks and news crew are still here, but the fire is out.


Standing there, all I could think about was To Kill a Mockingbird. I still haven’t finished that book. I got distracted by Brisingr. Anyways, all I could think about was To Kill a Mockingbird and now all I can think about is how much I hate it when I get distracted and lose my train of thought.


Signing off, confused,


Wednesday, July 21, 2010


I'm sorry if there are lots of typos, it's kinda hard to see my screen
at the moment. Of course, I do have my auto-fix that should fix most,
if not all.

Friday, July 16, 2010


So I've finally seen the new Alice in Wonderland. I have been waiting
and waiting. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Thriugh the Looking
Glass is my favorite book, and the original is my favorite Disney
movie and one of my favorite movies of all time. Johnny Depp is my
favorite actor of all time. I wanted to see it in theaters, but when
presented with the choice of either using the free ticket I got from a
friend of mine for my birthday on either Avatar or Alice, I chose
Avatar. So I didn't get to see it in theaters. We'd had it on our
Netflix list since even before it came out on DVD, but we hadn't
gotten it yet, so when my mom stopped at the Redbox outside of Royal
Farms today to look for a movie and saw it, she rented it.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Let's see if this works...

hey! I'm trying out a new app on my iPod it's actually pretty cool! I can even put in emoticons like these:
and there are other things too like theses banners and I just found more emoticons!

<3 <3 <3 7/7/10 <3 <3 <3

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Should Be Sleeping

"I should be sleeping
Instead of keeping
These late hours I've been keeping
I've been pacing and retracing every step of every move
Even though I'm feeling so right
I'm so happy, still I know I
Should be sleeping 'stead of dreaming 'bout you..."

So today I went to my "older brother"'s graduation party and had a
blast. I "met" my old drum major's boyfriend. I put met in quotation
marks because, although he doesn't remember, we've met twice before. I
had a lot of fun, and got thrown into the pool twice.

Signing off, exhausted but happy,

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Our God is an Awesome God

No song line could better describe my feelings after what happened

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I Gotta Feeling That Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night

I Gotta Feeling That Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night
Well, it turns out my fears were unfounded, because I had an amazing
time today, and all because of the group I was in.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Goodnight, My Angel

Billy Joel song: "Lullaby." I love this one. When I can't sleep, I
play it over and over.

Monday, July 5, 2010

And we'll go marching down the road to freedom

From Celtic Thunder's "The Island." I love that song. It's about how even with all the bad things that happen, there's still love. The chorus is about sex, but it's not like "All Night Long" sex. It's more like, say, "Bubbly." It's sweet.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Help My Fellow Wrimo, Please!

From "Writing On Thin Ice" by Lisa K
"The basics of the contest are this: Fresh Blood is an international fiction contest sponsored by Dorchester Publishing, ChiZine Publications, and Rue Morgue Magazine. My book is one of two finalists competing for the grand prize of a publishing contract with both Leisure Horror (mass market paperback) and ChiZine Publications (limited hardcover run).

It takes only a few seconds to vote. It's as simple as sending a blank email to freshblood@chizinepub.com with Fresh Blood Vote - Heart of the City in the subject line.

You can vote once per unique email address, so if you have more than one email address, you can even vote multiple times!

Voting closes on July 14th at midnight EST."

You can view the original post here: http://writingonthinice.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-blogging-community-i-really-need.html Thanks!

Brought to You Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue

"Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by Toby Keith. It is my second favorite patriotic song of all time. My favorite patriotic song of all time is about September 11th: "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)" by Alan Jackson, and that always makes me cry. "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" makes me proud to be an American.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

That Ain't It, Kid

Today's line is from "Dance: Ten; Looks: Three" from "A Chorus Line"
So yesterday I got excused from blogging because we lost internet. The connection was shaky so we tried to fix the modem/router/whatever, and we killed it instead. So Comcast had to come out and fix it and so I never had a chance to post. So, that excuses me.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

It's the time of the season

I'm unable to participate in JulNoWriMo (my mommy still hasn't given me back my laptop fulltime for how poorly I did in school this year), but I feel like doing something special for July anyway. So here's my plan: Blog everyday, and name each post with a line of a song that I either have stuck in my head or am listening to or whatever. Today it's "Time of the Season," redone by Straight No Chaser. I've heard two different remakes of this song (the other one was an American Idol contestant that we bought off iTunes), but I've actually never heard the original song. It's weird.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Baby and Wanted Ads

There's a little boy that lives two doors down from me named Luke. He's five years old and he has Autism, and I love him more than ducks. I babysit him once or twice a week every spring while his mom is teaching night classes and his dad is coaching softball at one of the local Vo-Tech school, along with his eight-year-old brother, Josh.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I was flipping through my notes today and found a page of just random thoughts, and I was kinda shocked. I vaguely remember writing these, and you can tell I was falling asleep because my handwriting gets progressively worse :). As I get closer to sleep, though, my thoughts become more and more profound, and I feel the need to post these and expand on some.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Sanity and the Lack There Of

I am extremely interested in psychology. I have been ever since I read a book on psychology from a series of science books given to me by a family member. I found some podcasts by Dana Leighton that are his lectures in his classes, and I downloaded two series of podcasts: Abnormal Psychology and Social Psychology. I've been listening to his lessons and enjoying them. I'll be listening to these this summer, hoping to get some education while I'm sitting around doing crafts.

Problems and Smiles

So I'm a horrible insomniac, and it's almost two in the morning and at this point I'm giving up on trying to fall asleep. If I'm gonna fall asleep tonight, it'll come when it comes.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Star Wars and Cakes and Mentions

I'm watching Ace of Cakes repeats right now, and this one is the one where they make an R2D2 cake for Lucasfilms and get to go to the ranch. And when I say the ranch, I mean THE ranch. Skywalker Ranch. And then they meet the real R2D2. The real one they used in the movies. I am, like, ├╝ber-jealous. I LOVE Star Wars. Visiting the ranch is on the list.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Hello, blogging world!

I'm listening to "Time of the Season" redone by Straight No Chaser, my new favorite group. They're these twelve men singing popular songs… acapella. They're awesome.